Hello, my name is Tracey Jines and I'm a recovering pastor. I entered my 12 step recovery program voluntarily on January 1, 2008. Not to belittle the great and wonderful recovery programs that are available for people with serious addictions, but I was a pastor for 10 years full-time and part-time and as a volunteer 8 years before that and I need to recover from this experience. I left full-time vocational ministry because I believed I could be more effective in the marketplace than inside the cocoon of the church. I was also tired of being a babysitter for religion and religious people. I say I am recovering because I did not fully understand the "Deconstruction" I needed in my life to rid myself of all the sense of entitlement, selfishness, and sin that existed in my life as a pastor. No horrific sins according to worldly standards, but sins of pride, selfishness, entitlement, and materialism. I have grieved and I am still grieving the "death" of who I was as a pastor and experiencing the "deconstruction" of the life "I" built. Now I am seeking to live a life that Christ builds.
I am recovering from myself and the addiction to self that I had and still have. I am recovering and will continue to deconstruct the self I created so that Christ can build Himself in me. Christ's ways for me are better. Simply living in Him through His Spirit brings far greater peace and joy than living "for" him as a pastor.
Today I am a business consultant and life coach. That's a big fancy way of saying I want to help people make great decisions and I really completely and totally rely on Jesus to provide for my family and me. Specifically I recruit for engineering, environmental, and renewable energy companies. I also assist individuals and companies on putting business deals together. This new life also affords me the opportunity to be a life coach for those who need some guidance to find hope and peace. I have found it in Jesus Christ.
I wanted to establish this blog to share my story of "Deconstruction" with others, particularly pastors, ministers, and others who are thinking of entering the "ministry." I want to share my thoughts about how much more effective followers of Jesus can be in the marketplace and not inside the bricked walls of a church. Seminary may "train" you (I have all the advanced degrees) but they cannot replace good old fashioned life and marketplace experience combined with a love for Jesus and people.
Jesus said to go to the people, not ask the people to come to you, your church building or a pastor. He commanded we go...so I have gone to the marketplace and I invite you to either stay or enter the marketplace as well. Lost people live in the market - let's tell them about Jesus while they are there.
This is a blog about a recovering from being a pastor. Deconstruction is about rebuilding the life "I" built and letting Christ build the life He wants for me. I was tired of being a babysitter for religion and beliived I could be more effective in the marketplace. This blog is my story of leaving the ministry and entering the real world where people are hurting and needing Jesus. I hope this inspires others to leave ministry and enter the market or stay to help right where you are.
2 comments:
This is good. Thanks for sharing. People need to hear your message.
CJ
i will be reading.....
it is important to go where people already are....i have found this in my study of 1 Corinthians 9....we have been focused on that as we put together this recreation stuff...will be interesting to see where God takes that...we don't have recreational facilities here at the church, we are going to be pushed to go where people already are....
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